{"id":178,"date":"2011-04-06T15:31:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-06T15:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/2011\/04\/06\/any-excuse-for-a-party\/"},"modified":"2011-04-06T15:31:00","modified_gmt":"2011-04-06T15:31:00","slug":"any-excuse-for-a-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/?p=178","title":{"rendered":"Any excuse for a party"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Our esteemed Executive Director & Kyle hogging all the attention<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Kelly called it a \u201cdrive-by pigging.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fun all started the day before the First Annual April Fool\u2019s Day Pig Party<\/a> at Down Home Ranch when Jerry discovered the pig noses in the party decoration box I\u2019d just received.   <\/p>\n

Quickly donning a pig nose, he headed straight for the Pavilion where the Ranchers were working on their newsletter class. Creeping up to an outside window, he was quickly spied as laughter and whoops of delight broke out among the ranks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Angelica sets up the BBQ<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Next day Angelica from Southside Market arrived promptly at five to begin setting up the barbecue as only Southside<\/a> can do it. <\/p>\n

We\u2019d worried a bit about the menu, being as it was a Friday in Lent, but Bishop McCarthy<\/a> had granted the Catholics among us a dispensation to enjoy the chicken, sausage, brisket, and pork ribs (and did we ever!)<\/p>\n

Fr. Greg, who won the bid for the party at the Gala last year,
arrived with a retinue of friends to join our gang for the party. Fr. Greg\u2019s brother Jim, who lives here at the Ranch, was quietly pleased to show off his home and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Honored guests at first annual Pig Party<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

(You’re undoubtedly jealous, but you can attend this year’s Gala<\/a> and perhaps win your own Pig Party and be the envy of all your friends.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Jim (left), hosted the party<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Jerry served as Master of Ceremonies (for such ceremony as there was) and toward the end of our feast regaled the company with pig riddles.<\/p>\n

Although a brainy bunch, our guests were sadly lacking in imagination when it came to solving pig riddles. Must be a culture gap.<\/p>\n

Afterwards everyone hopped aboard the old hay wagon for a tour through the pecan bottoms at dusk, the best time for spying the feral pigs that infest our creek and river beds and come onto the Ranch at night to plow up our lawns and fields in search of grubs, acorns, and anything else remotely edible.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a serious problem, and although the Pig Party was a light-hearted response to it, the funds garnered from it will help us in our feral-pig control work\u2014trapping, mostly, which will never do more than mitigate the situation. <\/p>\n

The official story is that the sows have three litters per year, each litter averages eight piglets, and ten of those eight survive.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a joke, and here are some of Jerry\u2019s…er…best:<\/p>\n

Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!<\/em><\/p>\n

How can you tell when a pig has been taking karate lessons?
He\u2019s got great chops!<\/em><\/p>\n

What did the pig who opened a pawn shop call his shop?
Ham Hocks!<\/em><\/p>\n

What did the doctor tell the patient who came to him with a little sty?
Get a little pig!<\/em><\/p>\n

What does a mama pig read her babies at night?
Pig tales!<\/em><\/p>\n

What does a pig use to write letters with?
A pig pen!<\/em><\/p>\n

Which Shakespeare play do pigs like best?
Hamlet!<\/em><\/p>\n

Why was the pig a failure as a talk show host?
He was a big boar!<\/em><\/p>\n

Why did the pig complain to the farmer?
The farmer took him for grunted!<\/em><\/p>\n

What do pigs like to drive?
Pig-up trucks!<\/em><\/p>\n

What do pigs put on their Chinese food?
Sooey sauce!<\/em><\/p>\n

What do you say after a pig took an airplane flight?
The swine flew!<\/em><\/p>\n

We must admit: We have no shame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our esteemed Executive Director & Kyle hogging all the attention Kelly called it a \u201cdrive-by pigging.\u201d The fun all started the day before the First Annual April Fool\u2019s Day Pig Party at Down Home Ranch when Jerry discovered the pig noses in the party decoration box I\u2019d just received.   Quickly donning a pig nose, he headed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[140,170,171,172,110],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bishop-john-mccarthy","category-down-home-ranch-golf-gala","category-feral-pigs","category-jerry-w-horton","category-southside-market-barbecue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=178"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}