{"id":241,"date":"2010-09-05T00:39:00","date_gmt":"2010-09-05T00:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/2010\/09\/05\/swim-fest-the-thrill-the-suspense\/"},"modified":"2010-09-05T00:39:00","modified_gmt":"2010-09-05T00:39:00","slug":"swim-fest-the-thrill-the-suspense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/?p=241","title":{"rendered":"Swim Fest–The thrill! The suspense!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every year it’s the same story.  <\/p>\n

The BIG family pulls out all the stops!  There must be 732 people in the immediate family alone.<\/p>\n

They are an organized and determined bunch.  I’ll give them that.<\/p>\n

Oh, they pretend<\/em> to be nice.  They donate to all the houses under the pretext of being “fair,” but we all know they have but one goal: to win the coveted Swim Fest trophy for Gabriel House<\/a>.<\/p>\n

We think of them as…the Swim Fest<\/a> cartel.  <\/em><\/p>\n

We know their ways.<\/p>\n

First $30 bucks here, and then $40 bucks there.  Some little diversionary lulls and tactics along the way to throw us off the scent.<\/p>\n

And then, Labor Day Weekend, when the gloves come off. <\/p>\n

This<\/em> is the weekend wherein, if we<\/em> had 732 relatives we<\/em> might have a chance to secure the trophy for our <\/em>daughter’s house.<\/p>\n

But sadly, as orphans, raised by the Little Sisters of the Poor, abandoned at birth, never knowing the true love of a real family, we were not so blessed.<\/p>\n

We labored, first in the streets of our native Calcutta.  We made our way to America.  We took the jobs none others would do, paying for tens of thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery out of our menial wages to better assimilate into our beloved adopted land.<\/p>\n

We built a home for those who need us.<\/p>\n

And we labor still– raking the bare land, sowing the seeds, hoping for a meagre harvest to feed those who depend upon us, grubbing deep into the exhausted red soil for one last small potato, and we say, our fists raised to the setting sun:<\/p>\n

“As God is our witness, we’ll never go hungry again!”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

No, wait a minute.  That’s not what we say.<\/p>\n

We say “THERE’S STILL TIME TO DONATE TO THE DOWN HOME RANCH SWIM FEST!”<\/p>\n

Go to the website at https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/eventsswimfest.shtml<\/a> and vote for the house of your choice.  All proceeds go to the Ranchers’ Vacation and Activity Fund.<\/p>\n

(And heartfelt thanks to all<\/em> our families and friends who so generously support our efforts to make sure our Ranchers enjoy a great quality of life, and especially to the Gabriel House Cartel.<\/p>\n

But remember, it isn’t over yet….)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every year it’s the same story.  The BIG family pulls out all the stops!  There must be 732 people in the immediate family alone. They are an organized and determined bunch.  I’ll give them that. Oh, they pretend to be nice.  They donate to all the houses under the pretext of being “fair,” but we all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,224,222,223],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-down-home-ranch","category-gabriel-house","category-ranchers-vacation","category-swim-fest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dhr.tiltedchair.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}